PSYCHOTIC TURNBUCKLES : FIGURE FOUR BRAIN TRANCE - (Shagpile)
For ten years the Psychotic Turnbuckles ruled the rock world, providing a brand of rock humour which is sadly absent from today’s scene.
The Psychotic Turnbuckles turned rock n roll wrestling into an art form all their own. The story of their origins is legendary.
They formed in 1984 in Pismo, California where they were wrestling heroes. The feared five man tag team champions were also kings of the surf. Once, during a surfing tournament, there came from the beach’s newly installed sound system the painful sounds of Boy George, Flock Of Seagulls and Jimmy Barnes.
Jesse The Intruder systematically destroyed every speaker on the beach and then declared, "We have beaten every tag team there is ! There is no reason why I, Jesse The Intruder and my tag team partners must listen to this garbage ! We are undefeated in wrestling ! We are undefeated in surfing ! Next we will conquer rock n roll and destroy and dispose of all dull city bands !" - and so it was that they relocated to Sydney, Australia where they continued to demolish all opponents that stood in their path, in their quest for rock n roll wrestling supremacy !!
After all these years I still think a lot of people missed the whole point as to what the Turnbuckles were all about. To witness them onstage dressed as rock gods with long green hair, playing fuzzed out sonic punk full of tongue in cheek lyrics was sure a sight to behold. I still have vivid memories of front man Jesse performing wrestling holds on some unsuspecting punter, brazen enough to venture onstage and accept The Intruder’s challenge.
How could you not love ’em ? They were about good fun, good songs and good rock n roll ! The ’buckles were stars simply cos they said they were ! The Turnbuckles left us with many singles and four albums, yet ‘Figure Four Brain Trance’ was the final gift from the gods of swirl, and is probably their finest hour. The tunes on this record are the strongest they released, with even more emphasis on catchy choruses and rock solid melodies. The rippin’ ‘Crazy Times Ahead’ offers more tales of rock stardom the Turnbuckles way. Dig the fuzz toned frenzy that is ‘She’s Afraid To Love Me’, big on distortion courtesy of The Grand Wizard, master of sonic sorcery !
Another stand out is the instantly likeable pop punk of ‘Rock n Roll Terrorist’, while you just gotta love the politically incorrect ‘She’s So Dumb’ and ‘Too Young Ain’t Young Enough’, which features a big flashin’ bass intro from The Psychedelic Unknown. Dig those lyrics ‘a star spangled banner with a sonic sledge hammer, a teenage glamour, a wig wam bammer !’. ‘Night Of The Intruder’ serves as Jesse’s finest moment - lock up your daughters and lock your windows as Jesse crashes and burns through your town, leaving behind a path of mayhemic destruction. ‘Figure Four Brain Trance’ - an album cats, which comes highly recommened. The Turnbuckles - they STILL rule the world !
Reference: Vicious Kitten
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